Off, as befits any hard-working hack, to Frank Lowe’s personal tennis tournament at the Queen’s Club – otherwise known as the Stella Artois. Lowe in person keeps a benign eye on the proceedings from the players’ terrace. But, as if the sight of Lowe was not enough, at the centre court you could overhear the growing excitement of a couple of industry women – who must remain nameless. First, they giggled to each other about
Jeremy Bates’ bottom and strong thighs in tight shorts. Then they became quite taken with Pete Sampras’ hairy stomach, which came into view as his shirt rode up. Eventually, the matronly ladies had to be taken out for a cold shower when they noticed a patch of sweat appear on Sampras’ shorts. “Just imagine”, said one breathlessly, “the sweat trickling down between
those lovely buttocks.” It’s enough to turn you to drink.