Scaly new heights of passion

Now that Guinness has firmly closed the closet door on its gay ad campaign (needless to say after the horse has bolted), the Diary can suggest another idea to net the pink pound.

Two weeks ago Marketing Week revealed that SP Lintas had tossed the Glenryck Pilchards account back into the new business river. Whichever agency catches the business might like to ponder this treatment for the first gay pilchard ad revealed exclusively here.

Glen and Rick are two pilchards, swimming in the South Atlantic and deeply in love but facing an uncertain future.

“I’m hooked on you,” says Glen. But Rick is distracted by more pressing matters.

“What’s for dinner?” he asks nervously. “We are,” replies an increasingly distraught Glen.

The catchline then appears: “Get hooked on Glenryck Pilchards,” while the song “Gone Fishing” plays in the background.

Eat your heart out Tony Kaye.