ASA man hit by full-frontal exposure

Grahame Fowler, that mild-mannered front man for the Advertising Standards Authority, is used to coping with flak from hacks, but last week he had a confrontation of a particularly embarrassing nature.

The media was in a frenzy over some apparently sexist advice from the Committee of Advertising Practice to an underpants manufacturer called Brass Monkeys, warning it not to run poster ads featuring a man’s enormous groin. Similar advice was not given over Wonderbra ads, featuring Eva Herzigova.

As our Grahame rushed to an interview to defend the CAP’s advice on Live TV, he bumped into a strapping young man in a puffa jacket with distinctive green eyes.

Five minutes later Fowler was in front of the camera getting a grilling from ex-Mirror editor Roy Greenslade. The green-eyed hunk, wearing nothing but body oil and a pair of Brass Monkeys pants over his manly form, wandered in front of the cameras for all to see.

“So Grahame,” smirked presenter Roy Greenslade, “what’s offensive about that?”

“Nothing,” gulped quick-thinking Fowler, “I’ve got one just like it.”

At which point the newsgirl piped up: “Ooo, aren’t you the lucky one.” Fowler’s embarrassment at this attempted public humiliation was perhaps mitigated by the fact that no one ever watches Live TV anyway.

But sources inform the Diary that the big underpants boss at Brass Monkeys, impressed by “Big Boy” Grahame’s performance, sent him two pairs of its famous pulling pants.