One man’s meat, analyst’s poison

The life of a City supermarket analyst is full of dangers. One moment, you are getting it in the neck from investors because your forecasts are hopelessly flawed. The next you are being ejected from supermarkets for taking notes without buying anything.

In an attempt to avoid the latter misfortune, one of the City’s finest retail analysts, who had on a number of occasions been escorted from supermarket premises as his raincoat, trilby hat and hidden video camera made him look like a spy, decided to make some purchases.

He bought a cheap ready-cooked chicken wing, but after eating it ended up with a bout of food poisoning, and had to take the next day off work.

Perhaps supermarket staff had identified the analyst and decided to spike his chicken wing with something unsavoury to wreak Retailer’s Revenge.

The analyst will no doubt be advising investors to sell shares in the supermarket concerned.

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