Who went down on The Oriana?

There is only so much that can be said about marketing, advertising and related services.

So after beavering away all day on the good ship Oriana, the 800 delegates at this year’s Marketing Forum turned their attentions to other matters.

Sex was naturally at the top of the agenda, and wedding rings were discreetly slipped off.

With a ratio of some seven men to every woman, it was not exactly the love boat. But this did not deter sundry marketers from declaring their love for each other.

Among the cheesy chat-up lines that were overheard in Anderson’s Bar, this one takes the ship’s biscuit: “I’ve only ever loved two women. I married the first one. You are the second.”

As usual, it was a case of all talk and no trousers.

The Diary could not find a single marketer who actually managed to cop off, though there were rumours that some stray male managed to arrive at breakfast wearing a woman’s name tag.