How to combat ‘New Dark Age’

Cardiff survival equipment company BCB International has put together the package all millennium doomsday cult members will be fighting for.

BCB’s Millennium Survival Kit is apparently “a practical insurance policy” against all manner of apocalyptic scenarios, and not just “riotous anarchy” and the “collapse of Western society” either.

Andrew Howell, BCB managing director, sounding every bit the doomsday soothsayer himself, has worse tidings about the “New Dark Age” ahead.

“Hospital patients, even prisoners may be released on mass,” he says. But even worse: “The police and military…know how to party and once on a roll they may take some stopping.”

To combat marauding mobs of plain clothed policemen and TA volunteers, we should arm ourselves with “a small piece of floating plastic” which flashes emergency signals, as used by the Navy. And don’t forget the NATO-issue edible candles.

You have been warned.