Uproar over Bass’ plans for anal retention

The marketers at Bass Brewers are “no better than crack dealers”, according to the Campaign for Real Ale.

What has spurred those bearded, T-shirts at CAMRA to use such unmeasured language? “Crass, lurid and near-pornographic” publicity posters Bass uses to promote the “It’s a Scream” theme pubs, of course.

One ad, for a “Blue Monday” promotion, is headlined “When your back’s against the wall” above pictures of a naked couple against a wall. A disclaimer reads “The proprietor cannot be held responsible for any adverse anal reaction following the consumption of bargain beverages”. CAMRA argues Bass’ “laddish and loutish publicity material to goad vulnerable young customers into alcoholic excess”.

The Diary agrees with CAMRA’s standpoint, but is unfortunately indisposed, suffering an adverse anal reaction after imbibing one too many 1-a-pint Carlings.