No one will go hungry at the lard supper

In a £5m attempt to dispel “wild speculation” about the millennium bug, Government-funded Action 2000 has launched a “Facts not Fiction” booklet. Unfortunately it is less reassuring than you might expect.

In a &£5m attempt to dispel “wild speculation” about the millennium bug, Government-funded Action 2000 has launched a “Facts not Fiction” booklet. Unfortunately it is less reassuring than you might expect.

Phrases such as “the few that may be affected”, “the only problem could be” and “you can probably fix this” crop up with unnerving regularity.

Supermarkets “are confident” shelves will be stocked with “all essential food and groceries.” So it’s white bread and lard for supper on New Year’s Day.

The NHS is “well on the way” to beating the bug, with “very little likelihood” of equipment such as kidney dialysis machines being affected. Fingers crossed. Planes have been tested by setting on-board computer clocks to just before the millennium and flying over the date change. “All systems functioned normally,” passengers on the 17.15 to Ibiza will be pleased to hear.

Probably the most important advice on offer is “check with your employer that they have tested their payroll system so that your wages or salary will be paid on time”. You have been warned.

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