Model players give wooden performance

It’s no wonder the England football team has failed to set the pitch alight recently – players are spending far too much time mincing around for fashion shoots.

It’s not as if Tony Adams, Martin Keown and Tim Sherwood are trying to hide the fact. The results of their latest modelling assignment are to appear in the window of every Burton Menswear shop in the country.

Keown tries to kid us that he’s got a touch of class: “The other lads would have you believe that I’m not the most style-aware of players, but I do take care of my appearance.”

Adams says: “In recent times, Burton has never been top of my shopping list” – presumably because until recently he was too busy down the pub.

Sherwood comments: “I’m not sure how many times I would need to wear the nightclub look.” However, he seems to have mastered the “standing at the edge of the dance floor” pose.

Burton, official sponsor of the Football Association, says the shoot was “characterised by raw attitude and style” – qualities which the trio could do with applying on the pitch.

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