Not even a legend in his lunchtime

Picture the scene. It was to be the lunch of the century – literally – hosted by Her Majesty and featuring 310 of the century’s glitterati, including three former Prime Ministers, captains of industry by the regiment, a troupe of theatre knights and dames, a galaxy of sports stars and, er, Lord Saatchi.

Or, at least, a Saatchi. Uniquely, Charles was cited as a guest in the Telegraph in his role as a patron of the arts, but declined to turn up. Mo, on the other hand, putting duty to his sovereign first, selflessly made himself available for the occasion – but to no avail.

Despite anxious perusal, the guest-list yielded not an iota about his services to advertising and the country at large. He was, reports a fellow guest, “most discombobulated” to discover he had become the invisible man.

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