Life’s such an e-venture in the new media world

Throw out the traditional work ethics of loyalty, staying power and realistic business strategies if you want to succeed in new media.

I’m jumping ship. I’ve finally twigged that successful new media operators are expected to demonstrate the same degree of corporate loyalty and work ethic as Stan Collymore has exhibited at Aston Villa – and several clubs before.

People who stay, and diligently do their job day in and day out, are weak.

In the neo-Darwinist halls of mirrors that is the new media recruitment scene, those who demonstrate a rapid turnover of jobs combined with unexplained gaps in their CVs command a premium. Oh, and alluding to a few old school City contacts in the venture capital scene does no harm either.

My big idea is this – I’ve spotted that people who organise parties for Net entrepreneurs and venture capitalists have been more than successful in attempting to float their e-schmooze business in the City.

I think I can take the concept a step further, and organise a whole new tier of parties putting together wannabe Net party organisers and potential backers, and take the venture to the market with an IPO by June.

By this time, of course, I’ll be long gone, punting a possible float of my online psychotherapy service. This will offer premium rate counselling to two distinct and growing constituencies. First are the middling Net entrepreneurs tormented by their continued failure to bank a million. Second are the new media executive salary schmucks – the optionless minions working for traditional media players who haven’t got the balls or City contacts to go it alone.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a cynic – I’m just alert to launching new businesses and moving on. Sorting out the devil-in-the-detail stuff can be left to the next wave of operational management which will be expected, at some point, to make money out of the business.

But I admit the situation might appear strange to some outsiders. On the one hand the language of maximising customer awareness, acquisition, loyalty and retention have become mantras used to justify the exorbitant marketing budgets of loss-making infant ventures. On the other hand, so many of these ventures fail to secure the loyalty or to retain the services of their leading management for more than a few months at a time. They typically depart before the business has been properly built and other original business strategies have been validated.

Maybe Stan Collymore has got it right after all.

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