Basten tries too hard to impress

Prepare to enter an alternative reality. Corporate identity, design and marketing specialist Basten Greenhill Andrews has taken the old adage “first impressions count” just a incy wincy bit too far.

The company has appointed Jamie Jamieson to the new position of, wait for it, director of First Impressions. Jamieson’s job is to “meet and greet visitors at the company’s Covent Garden offices to ensure they get the right impression on arrival”.

But apparently security also falls in to his remit, and he ejects “unsavoury visitors” with the utmost charm. What kind of unsavoury visitors, we’re not sure. The Diary wonders whether Jamieson also asks visitors if they are 18 and whether they’re a member while brandishing a guest list.