Have a good old fart after dinner

Regular readers of this publication may have noticed ads for afterdinner speaker agencies featuring such stars as Trevor Brooking, Loyd Grossman and, ahem, Lennie Bennett.

But now an agency specialising in “mature artistes” has opened its doors.

Wrinklies Direct Names & Faces boasts a long list of celebs as engaging as Michael Fish, “Diddy” David Hamilton and, strangely enough, Cynthia Payne. Old folks’ homes and coffee morning organisers will surely be jamming the Wrinklies phone lines in the weeks ahead.

Wrinklies co-founder John Drewry wants to start more ventures in the “grey genre” – so a whole generation of failed TV quiz show hosts who have found themselves on the scrap heap will be able to rest easy.