Pulling the bag over our eyes?

Visitscotland, previously known as the Scottish Tourist Board, has come up with a corker of an idea to entice Londoners north of the border in the wake of the foot-and-mouth crisis.

The cunning Celts are distributing more than 500,000 baguette bags “tempting Londoners to get a taste for Scotland”.

Following a recent visit to the Highlands, the Diary concedes the panoramic views are stunning – unlike the cuisine, which seems to be based around a sickly diet of chips, battered Mars Bars, deep-fried pizzas, square sausages and haggis.

Put mountainous landscapes and stodgy food together and you are looking at a recipe for disaster.

So maybe it’s no coincidence that the baguette bags more closely resemble the type you might receive upon boarding an aeroplane.

The end result? A real taste of Scotland in a bag.