Ba-ba ba-ba bog off, Branson

Virgin mobile is trying to get people to congregate in Leicester Square today (Wednesday) at 1.15pm to break the world record for the largest number of mobile phones ringing in unison, the Diary hears.

Once there, lucky participants will have the Pearl & Dean theme ringtone downloaded to their phones.

Sir Richard Branson, also known as “the smarmy one”, hotly denied it was just another one of his irritating ploys to promote his company.

“It’s to celebrate UK mobile phone culture,” says a spokesman (contactable only by mobile).

The Big Ring: the world’s most annoying event, organised by the world’s most annoying man, in the world’s most annoying location, using the world’s most annoying invention, with the world’s most annoying ringtone. Please text friends not to go.

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