From waiting list to mailing list in A&E

In a damning indictment of the NHS, NWP Communications has announced it is installing Internet kiosks in UK accident and emergency wards.

Patients will now be able to while away the hours checking football scores and e-mail while simultaneously trying to restart their own hearts and put their legs in plaster.

The Diary can see the e-mails now:

>To: dad@email.com

>From: son@email.com

>Dear Dad,

>Will be home late tonight as have >had accident with vacuum cleaner.

>Son.

>PS: Tell mum I will replace

>vacuum cleaner attachment

Worryingly, the hospitals will keep a chunk of the profits. Will this lead to the Government finding other ways to distract (sorry, entertain) patients? Stand-up comedians in the operating theatre? Circuses in radiology? Could happen…