UK productivity falls further behind

The Diary has long been a fan of rude words, and was delighted to receive news of Lastminute.com’s latest wheeze, online fridge magnets.

Those who access Rudefood.net will be presented with an array of food words which also have more salacious meanings. They can be moved around the screen to create sentences.

No doubt companies will grind to a halt as employees double up in hysterics over sentences such as “pork her cream doughnut” and “wipe your wiener before you spit roast my tart”.

The company is also sending out limited edition fridge magnet packs for people’s kitchens. But be careful in case your mum comes around unexpectedly and finds out your new hobby is writing “cherry and I will suck it together” on the fridge.