Going down in the Ennals of history

Following his impending departure from Lloyds TSB, Ford Ennals has spoken to the Diary about his future career prospects.

“I’m in talks about running the world,” says Ennals. “I’ve had a word with Mr Blair and he’s given me his backing. I’ve got a meeting with George Dubya Bush next week and if that goes well it should be plain sailing. I’ve got a few ideas about how to improve the old place. I think I’ll get Rainey Kelly in to do a revamp.”

Ennals says that running the world was not his first choice. “I went to the United Nations and spoke to Kofi Annan about taking over his peacekeeping duties, but those blue helmets clashed with my eyes.”