Will work for bananas and nuts

Following the near-demise of ITV Digital, the company’s brand standard-bearer, Monkey the ape, has been seen touting for business.

Sources have sighted Monkey – minus his sidekick Al, whose latest move is detailed above – entering the head office of the Fantasy Channel. “He’s desperate for work,” said one insider. “He offered to do trailers for them. He’s bought his own lingerie and everything.”

Monkey has been sighted hanging around the doors of a number of Soho production companies, desperate for a part in any film that’s going. But rumours of a soft porn movie with former Levi’s mascot Flat Eric had not been substantiated as Marketing Week went to press.

Now that Monkey’s career has hit the rocks, friends fear that he may stoop to the ultimate low. Said one: “Let’s just hope he doesn’t speak to Channel 5. There’s no way back from that.”