Coke shakes up fizzy pop market

The Diary can exclusively reveal that, following the formulation of lemon and vanilla variants, Coca-Cola is set to release a Coke variant which doesn’t make your teeth feel fuzzy.

The company is also working on variants which don’t go flat in the bottle after half an hour and which don’t inflate your stomach for most of the afternoon.

“It’s been a long time in development, but we think we’re really getting to the bottom of that teeth thing,” says a Coca-Cola spokesman. “Either that, or we’ll give away some free chewing gum or something.”

The spokesman adds that the company has no plans to introduce its Juggy fruit juice brand into the UK, even though the name is extremely funny.

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