Everyone’s a winner, baby. Well, almost…

The Diary’s desk is covered in promotional junk, ranging from a rubber chicken to a broken Osbournes mug and even some elbow-pads. Of late, the hard-pressed cleaners have been complaining about the mess. The Diary urgently needs to get rid of some of it and a competition would seem to be the fairest way of doing so.

Some of this rubbish – sorry, quality collectable merchandise – is famous, as it has been mentioned in this hallowed column (MW December 6, 2001 and MW June 27, for instance). It could even be worth money one day. The rules of the competition are simple: whoever can send the Diary the most interesting piece of promotional tat wins a specially selected star piece from the Diary’s private collection. There will also be three runner-up prizes and a booby prize – the limited edition (broken) Osbournes mug. All entries are welcome, but the goods must have been sent to you, not by your company or agency. The (lucky?) winners will be announced next month (MW September 12).

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