‘We were going to call him Alfa’

The Diary would like to send its belated congratulations to Posh and Becks on the birth of their son Romeo Beckham. The Diary, of course, is not the only marketing celebrity to congratulate the Beckham family.

Little did the super-celebs know that, while they were practising their breathing techniques – Posh because she was giving birth, Becks because he sometimes forgets to exhale, bless him – just up the road from the exclusive Portland Hospital, Grey Worldwide had a cunning plan.

When the Beckhams (David and Brooklyn) emerged from the hospital, the first thing they saw was a poster – sponsored by Mars – asking if David was “Finding space for a new tattoo”.

Quick thinking, and the Diary is willing to bet that the first thing David Beckham did on reading the poster was to head for the nearest tattoo parlour, as any responsible father would.