Whipping up support for Fetish Day

How come you never wear those open-toed sandals any more? The Diary used to like it when you kicked them off and dangled one on the end of your toe…

Sorry. The Diary gets carried away sometimes. Now what was this story about? Ah yes. In an attempt to garner publicity for a (no doubt tasteful, as anyone familiar with the magazine’s output will be aware) “fetish issue”, Bizarre magazine is promoting National Fetish Day, in which members of the public are encouraged to celebrate their fetishes in public. It all happens on November 15, which doesn’t give you much time to get out the whips, chains, pictures of Angela Rippon and squirty cream.

That probably means you won’t have time to launder your socks. Why not let the Diary wash them for you?