The truth is out there – in the Midlands

Word has reached the Diary’s omniaudient ear of a man who has the secret to God. As the Diary has always had ambitions in that direction – and as it’s always interesting to see what marketers get up to in their spare time – this was an interesting story indeed.

Philip Gardiner, marketing director of the mysterious Phase Printing, has written a follow-up to his best-seller The Shining Ones, which revealed the world’s oldest and most pervasive secret society (funny, the Diary doesn’t recall seeing him at the monthly meetings).

Proof, which has been published by a defunct (as of last week) Nottinghamshire publishing house (well, it’s been absorbed into William Ernest Publishing, but that’s not as conspiratorial-sounding), reveals lies, threats, deceit and cover-ups.

According to the press release, Gardiner believes that religion is a propaganda tool. And “as a top Midlands marketing expert, he should know”.