Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, how lovely you will be – next year

Bah, humbug. Christmas eh? A time for giving – a time for haemorrhaging cash more likely. Not only do you have to fight you way around shops to discover that the Bob the Builder slippers you were going to get for your nephew sold out three weeks ago, but you also have to buy presents for some relatives based purely on guesswork. And you know most of your well-chosen gifts will be locked up in a cupboard for 12 months and given back to you next Christmas.

But it goes beyond presents. There’s the constant Christmas parties that seem to start in November and finish some time around Easter, there’s decorations – always over-priced – and then there’s the tree. Do you know how much a tree costs? Luckily for the Diary, its friends at Poulterpartners have solved this problem.

In the post this morning was a grow-your-own Christmas tree kit. Brilliant! Not only will it take a year to grow, it will save money on lights and that bloody fairy that, no matter how far up her skirt you ram the top of the tree, always falls off within five minutes.