Virgin gift 11 months short of a calendar

The Diary is fuming. When a glossy, square-folded, stapled item arrived in the post with a picture of a coy, curly-haired lady on the front, what else could it be but that specially commissioned Carol Fisher-lookalike calendar? The Diary’s hands could barely wait to tear open the plastic wrapper. Imagine the despair that set in when it turned out not to be.

So thanks a lot, Virgin Mobile. Yes, those are lovely pictures of said lady and her hunky male counterpart, but what good’s a one-month calendar? Will Virgin Mobile be sending these things out every month? What if one gets lost in the post? Honestly, what is the world coming to?