One cow that will jump over the moon…

It’s at about this time of year that the Diary starts to feel pangs of doubt about its lifestyle. Endless casual flings with minor celebrities can take their toll, and as spring approaches and the great crested grebes begin their mating dance, the Diary wonders whether it’s time to settle down at last.

Then, just after considering which curtains go best with magnolia, around comes Valentine’s Day, and cynicism reigns again. The Diary hates all the lovey-dovey tat that surrounds Valentine’s Day, and is generally glad when it’s over. This year, however, its presents were somewhat unusual. One cow from Müller and a pair of posh rubber gloves from Orange Glo. What can they be implying? The Diary will have to vet its conquests more thoroughly in future…

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