Fancy joining this bunch of flankers?

Walks along the river bank, hand in hand with some fair-haired androgyne as we recite Eliot to a bemused cow… the Diary always hated all that at university. Nor were lectures much of a draw. The Diary preferred to spend the time singing, puking, mooning and playing rugby (or “rugger” to those of us in the College XV). So when an appeal from the Media Nomads – a rugby team made up from a bunch of the finest media chaps – arrived at the Diary’s in-box, how could the Diary refuse?

The founding Nomads are getting on a bit, and all those lunches are taking their toll, so they’re looking for new players – and they’ve even opened their doors to clients. With a sponsorship deal from Chrysalis (and a tour to Madrid coming up) there’ll be plenty of opportunities to raise your glasses and shout incomprehensible toasts.

So if you’re a big bloke who finds arses funny or knows the words to “Everywhere we go”, you need to get in touch with Theo Ellory on 020 7782 7320 or theo.ellory@newsint.co.uk.