Cadbury bar is root of all evil

The Diary noticed a neat use of semantics from Cadbury Schweppes managing director Andrew Cosslett last week. Cosslett was quoted as telling the Commons Health Select Committee that “there is nothing dangerous about a Curly Wurly”. As it stands, his statement is undoubtedly true, but the Diary has uncovered disturbing evidence that the production of the chocolate-coated chewy delicacy can pose serious hazards.

Take this from motormouth and Cadbury cultivator Jeremy Clarkson, writing in The Times on December 22 last year: “Things started badly. In fact, I never even got out of the drive before I crashed. Seat talks about the pinpoint active chassis and the four-pot brakes, but neither stopped me understeering off the gravel into my new curly wurly tree.”

See? Clarkson had only just got the thing when it started causing him trouble. Cadbury, not surprisingly, is seeking to divorce the produced item from the means of production.

And if you don’t believe the Diary, perhaps you can explain what this particular Curly Wurly tree is doing with a cannon, pointed at the Eden Centre.

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