Cadbury bar is root of all evil

The Diary noticed a neat use of semantics from Cadbury Schweppes managing director Andrew Cosslett last week. Cosslett was quoted as telling the Commons Health Select Committee that “there is nothing dangerous about a Curly Wurly”. As it stands, his statement is undoubtedly true, but the Diary has uncovered disturbing evidence that the production of the chocolate-coated chewy delicacy can pose serious hazards.

Take this from motormouth and Cadbury cultivator Jeremy Clarkson, writing in The Times on December 22 last year: “Things started badly. In fact, I never even got out of the drive before I crashed. Seat talks about the pinpoint active chassis and the four-pot brakes, but neither stopped me understeering off the gravel into my new curly wurly tree.”

See? Clarkson had only just got the thing when it started causing him trouble. Cadbury, not surprisingly, is seeking to divorce the produced item from the means of production.

And if you don’t believe the Diary, perhaps you can explain what this particular Curly Wurly tree is doing with a cannon, pointed at the Eden Centre.

Latest from Marketing Week

Marketoonist on PowerPoint pitches

The Marketoonist

Tom Fishburne is founder of Marketoon Studios. Follow his work at or on Twitter @tomfishburne See more of the Marketoonist here Tom Fishburne will be speaking at the Festival of Marketing, which is taking place on 4 and 5 October at Tobacco Dock. To find out more information, including how to book tickets, visit […]


Access Marketing Week’s wealth of insight, analysis and inspiration that will help you develop as a marketer and leader.

Register and receive the best content from the only title 100% dedicated to serving marketers' needs.

We’ll ask you just a few questions about what you do and where you work, so we can make Marketing Week more relevant to you.

Register now


Our award winning editorial team and columnists will ask the biggest questions about the biggest issues on everything from strategy through to execution to help you navigate the fast moving modern marketing landscape.


From the opportunities and challenges of emerging technology to the need for greater effectiveness, from the challenge of measurement to building a marketing team fit for the future, we will be your guide.


Information, inspiration and advice from the marketing world and beyond that will help you develop as a marketer and as a leader.

Dedicated to developing your skills and helping you achieve marketing excellence. Find guidance on leadership, professional development and the latest industry jobs.

Having problems?

Contact us on +44 (0)20 7292 3711 or email

If you are looking for our Jobs site, please click here