As the Diary knows well (too much time spent under interrogation by the local gangsters), it can get very cold inside a fridge. So spare a thought for all those packaged goods that are forced to spend almost their entire lives in chillers, huddling together for what little warmth can be gleaned from the fermenting cucumber in a salad crisper.
Now, at last, all those poor comestibles have an ally. And what a formidable ally it is: the nation’s old ladies have united to bring bobble hats to the UK’s Innocent Smoothies.
The Diary, always in at the sharp end, can bring you the first quote from the knitting front-line. Mary Anderson, from Llanrhaeadr ym Mochnant (it is a real place – the Diary looked it up on Google), has knitted more than 300 hats. She says: “When I was first told about the project, I thought they were having me on. But after I got into it, I enjoyed it very, very much. I look forward to doing it again next year.”
So there you go. And for every behatted smoothie sold, 50p will go to Help the Aged. If you fancy knitting a hat for a smoothie, go to the website – at innocentdrinks.co.uk – for instructions. And when you’ve drunk the smoothie, the hats make ideal nipple-covers for cold exotic dancers…