Jamaica? No, the wind took her there…

What would you do with &£50m? Plenty, no doubt – and not all of it legal, the Diary will wager. Camelot’s suggestion, if its latest ad campaign is anything to go by, is to expose a pristine island paradise to rapid urban development. But if Abbott Mead Vickers.BBDO’s film crew had had their way, the place would probably have been dynamited entirely.

The prospect of a winter break – the Caribbean in December – must have looked a cushy number. But what to viewers is a tropical beach was, in fact, an exposed islet battered by storm-force winds under a slate-grey sky. The sunshine in the ad was cooked up in an editing suite beneath London’s equally monochrome heavens.

Money can’t buy everything, it seems – but at least the rich can afford to fake it…