Time to dance to the disco Beattie

Diary loves Trevor Beattie. Whenever everything seems right in the world – the sun shines, the hungry are fed, Rocky bars are on BOGOF – along comes Trevor to provide a reality check. His latest plan is wrong on more levels than a multi-storey Freekee Soda-park.

Hussey are “Kent’s home grown… bubble-gum pop group tipped to take over where the Spice Girls left off”, and the spring-haired adman has somehow become the band’s “creative director”. Presumably that means you can blame him for dressing a bunch of ropey-looking teenagers as, well, hussies… FCUK, 3 and John Smith’s must be so pleased he’s in charge of their campaigns, particularly since he’s trying to persuade one of his clients to sponsor the band’s tour.

The band, who can be seen online at hussey.co.uk (you don’t even need a credit card) comprises Sam, Kate, Emma and Sian, along with yes-you’re-about-to-read-it-correctly Gay Marvin.

Never mind Sexual Healing – the Diary is in need of some psychological counselling.