Don’t knock a little plain speaking

As Christmas edges ever nearer, thoughts turn to loved ones and gift ideas that prove to them just how much you care. So this year, instead of buying gran the usual bath salts, what could say “Happy Christmas” better than a “Scrubber”? And for Uncle Stan, instead of the Brylcreem, maybe he’s secretly hoping for that Pansy he’s had his eye on?

This is where fragrance house Drom Fragrances and giftware supplier Clearcraft come in. Their Nokkers range consists of a body polish for women called Scrubber, an aftershave balm for men called Pansy, Pervert massage oil, Stink bath foam and Filthy shower gel. The likes of which would have kept That’s Life’s Doc Cox in material for weeks.

Before the launch of the next generation of Nokkers in spring 2005, Drom and Clearcraft are hoping to send Nokkers gift packs to British troops in Iraq. Commendably patriotic, but is it wise? The Diary’s not sure that ultra-macho soldiers with unlimited access to all kinds of firearms will appreciate being branded Perverts on Christmas morning. That’s probably more of a New Year’s Eve thing.

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