If at first you don’t succeed, paint it yellow

Those marketers who were unnerved by last week’s cover story on venture capitalists need worry no more – you are in safe hands. Those of you who sit beneath the Sword of Damocles, tied to the ceiling by your company’s new private-equity owner, look again: What you thought was a gleaming, razor-sharp rapier is in fact nothing more sinister than an early confection of Christmas tinsel, a gesture of generosity from new chairman Jackal McRedundancy.

For proof that the venture capitalists understand the intricacies and importance of marketing, look no further than Tim Parker, new chief executive of the AA. In The Sunday Times last weekend, he showed startling insight when he said: “As long as it’s yellow and has AA written on it, it should succeed.”

There, don’t you fell better?