Poor Poms don’t know weather they’re coming or going home

Prompted by the thought that Australia must be half empty, owing to the evacuation of all its half-trained bar staff to the UK’s major cities, Brits have been laughing in the face of Aussie prime minister John Howard’s views on immigration and decamping en masse to the bush-fire balmy beaches and billabongs of Brisbane and Bendigo.

As always, however, there are marketers (or “swagmen” as the Aussies call them) at hand to exploit the deepest neuroses and insecurities of these brave wanderers. As they lie on the beach, soaking up the sun’s rays heedless of Australia’s lack of an ozone layer, expats are being spooked by the appearance of rainclouds, something they thought they had left far behind.

But this isn’t some freak meteorological accident. Those dingoes at airline Emirates have realised that by making the whingeing ex-pats homesick, they can drum up some business on their long-haul Antipodean routes. Throw another Pom on the barbie, Sheila!

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