Rest assured, Shake Me Fresh is the smell of things to come

Years ago, Lenor was something that kids stole the lids from to use as that integral part of the latest Blue Peter model. And duvets were “continental quilts” that the kind of people who had split-level patios and Ford Granadas slept under.

It was not that the two things moved in wholly different orbits, but… well, how often do you wash your duvet? Wouldn’t like to say? Exactly. Moving swiftly on, then, to 2005: bedding manufacturer John Cotton has collided the twin worlds of fabric conditioner and hollow-fibre, teaming up with Lenor to create Shake Me Fresh, a range of bedding “designed to offer consumers that permanent ‘just washed’ smell which fills the entire bedroom”.

The smell lasts for several washes and is, no doubt, lovely. But what’s all the fuss about? Fragrant bedding isn’t so new: the Diary’s sheets have stunk of fag-ash and biryani every morning for years.