One consequence of the Diary’s prodigious stimulant consumption is a tendency to feel extremely ropey of a morning, so the recent launch of iamdead.co.uk struck a chord.
The website offers a service to people worried they might soon expire, allowing them to put all their important information (contact list, insurance policy details, where the loot from that bank job is buried) in one place, ready for their next of kin to access when the celestial landlord calls time.
Wannabe cadavers can also record voice messages for loved ones, to be delivered at a set time after death – which explains that answerphone message from the late Auntie Edna. The best feature of the site, though, is the button entitled “How to avoid death”. Don’t get born, being the obvious answer.