Failing to conquer mounting fastness

London 2012: While in East London the Olympics are in full flood, a darker side of life in the capital stays hidden from the world’s press. Just a few miles away from the celebrations, the streets of Soho, Camden and Shoreditch are littered with former advertising agency staff begging tourists for â¬20 for a cup of decaffeinated caramel macchiato with cinnamon sprinkles or trying to sell space in the classified section of The Big Issue.

“Damn those PVRs”, cries a tousled-haired tramp resembling Trevor Beattie circa 2005, “everything was going just fine before those blasted PVRs.”

It’s a nightmarish vision, but several industry observers predict that PVRs could bring about the end of the advertising world as we know it. However, doubts have been cast over this apocalyptic view of television advertising’s future by research company Duckfoot. It has used cognitive science, to discover that even when they are viewed at 30 times their normal speed, ads can have a positive effect on viewers. This means that watching a 30-second ad condensed into one second can “lead to a growth in the ad’s emotional evaluation”.

So there you have it. The advertising world isn’t doomed, it’s just going to be downsized to a 30th of its current size. Now isn’t that a comforting thought?