Whenever the Diary passes through a university campus and sees the hordes of designer clothes-wearing, mobile phone-toting students avoiding lectures, it can’t help but wonder what happened to the cash-strapped, fish finger-eating undergraduates of yore.
Obviously they’re taking the television ads reassuring students that they shouldn’t worry about their loan repayments and so might as well spend, spend, spend, too literally.
Thankfully, someone is concerned about spiralling student debt. Manchester’s Simpson Ready Foods have repositioned Goblin Puddings in an attempt to attract the student market.
Ad agency Pravda reasons that a meal that microwaves in 90 seconds and costs about 30p will entice students away from their usual diets of caviar and smoked salmon.
Simpson commercial manager Liz Hesketh says: “To achieve cut-through in the under-25s market, you need to create very powerful advertising.” However, after seeing the poster for Goblin Puddings (right), the Diary can only assume that by “very powerful advertising” Hesketh actually meant “a giant penis and testicles out of a beer bottle and a couple of pudding tins”.
To be fair, it takes balls to use such a cocky marketing tool. Whichever member of staff landed this plums job should hopefully prick a few students’ consciences. The acid testicle will be to think of new varieties. Meat and two veg should tackle that problem and save Simpson from having to put the product to the pork sword. And the chief executive wouldn’t want that, woody?