Bad case of jingle bells in Suffolk cells

The Diary can tell that Christmas is nearing. The shops are starting to stock Easter eggs, the characters of the latest Disney/Pixar film illuminate Regent Street, and, of course, every other headline in the tabloids screams at us about the dangers of binge drinking.

For some reason, Christmas and excessive drinking go hand in hand on these shores. Mulled wine, sherry and cans of Special Brew with a sprig of holly partially obscuring the logo are every bit a part of a traditional yuletide as Bond films, family arguments and the boring bloke turning up to the office party wearing a tie with red flashing lights just to prove how wacky he really is.

Now one police force is advertising what awaits drunken revellers in police cells should their festivities go too far. Designed to look like an ad for a posh hotel, the ads feature such attractions as “warm food lovingly reheated in seconds”, “telephone (one call only per guest)” and “(CC)TV in every room”. But as this is Suffolk Police, surely “Don’t drink and drive your tractor” would suffice.

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