Lap dancing excuse-me

Lunch, as someone once wrote, is a many-splendoured thing. They even made a film about it.

As such it should be treasured and nurtured, and extended long into the afternoon. Sadly, bosses don’t always agree and frequently demand you are back in the office, sometimes even before three.

The Diary has often been left thinking that its repast has been cut off in its prime by the clock watchers back at HQ.

Rock drummer Chris Lovell, who now works as chief executive for Golley Slater, has obviously found himself in this same boat on more than one occasion.

As a result, his lucky lunch guests are now issued with a booklet of excuses for a late arrival back in the office.

Some of the excuses are more believable than others. “We went on to a lap dancing club” may have more of a ring of truth to it when you stumble back to your desk as the cleaners are arriving than “I had to find out whose sales increased by 76 per cent as a result of hiring Golley Slater”

Still, the Diary’s source found an even better excuse for heading back to the office last week after lunch with Chris: “There’s a whale in the Thames and I need to look at the blog.”