Drawing a blank? Don’t think this marketing manual will help you

It was with a dull, ominous thud that a weighty tome entitled “How to make people buy your brand in retail” landed on the Diary’s desk this week.

The arrival of such an opus usually presages many miserable hours of ploughing through molasses-thick marketing speak and emerging none the wiser, only to encounter a portrait of the author gazing beatifically into the camera.

But this is a different kind of book. For one, the authors have even odder names than is usual – Marc Ettingshyte and Torr Kincrap.

But it was only when the Diary finally opened the book it realised that it really was a spoof, produced by the team at agency Vivid Brand to poke fun at the unintelligible manuals that litter the industry.

The pages are blank and readers are encouraged to use them to jot down any examples of marketing nonsense they come across and e-mail them to the company.

But in this cruel, post-modern world the Diary does wonder whether Vivid Brand’s stunt is a bit unfair on the hard working authors who strive to make marketers’ lives easier⦠or is it?

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