Three easy steps for girls who just wanna have fun… and some brand fulfilment on the bus home

It was Cyndi Lauper who once sang that Girls Just Wanna Have fun.

Well, she was wrong.

After six months of painstaking research, the bods at Saatchi & Saatchi have discovered that rather than “fun”, girls just wanna have a “360 degree experiential night out” – split into three key phases.

Now the Diary has always had its suspicions about Ms Lauper, and indeed girls in general – because of the way they heartlessly toy with the affections of admirers: fostering them, nurturing them and upping the foolish would-be suitor’s hopes before cruelly dashing them on the rocks of rejection and tottering off back to their gaggle of pointing, giggling friends.

According to Saatchi’s research, this part of the evening would probably fall into the second phase of the night – “enjoyment”.

Before the so-called enjoyment stage comes the “anticipation” stage and after it is the boringly named “later” stage – which presumably encompasses the journey home on the night bus.

The point of Saatchi’s research was to see how brands play a part in an evening of revelry.

The company says: “From Babyliss through Bacardi to Berocca, brands play the same roles as people throughout the night. Our study can show if you are a ‘great visitor’ or simply a ‘fixture’, and you can see if you are a ‘first on the list’ and hopefully not a ‘hanger on’.”

The idea being that some brands (for example Stella Artois) are crucial to a good night out, and others (for example the Daily Express) are not.

However the Diary feels obliged to pass on the information that, during the “later” stage, “brands are treated more promiscuously and trial is a lot more frequent.” Make of that what you will – although the Diary will be hanging around on the night bus next weekend.