Bosses keen to clean up harsh realities of office life…

The Diary has had its fair share of run-ins with authority down the years – but to this day the question “and what exactly IS wrong with sleeping under my desk?” has never been satisfactorily answered as far as the Diary is concerned.

But thanks to a new survey into business etiquette we now have a better idea of what really gets a manager’s goat (and, as far as the Diary is concerned, there is nothing wrong with having a goat in the office, either).

The findings of this study, by the Aziz Corporation, come under the snappy headline: “‘Don’t f**king bullshit me’, say British bosses.”

They reveal that if there is one thing that bosses hate more than employees surreptitiously moving into the office, it is people who then lie about it.

The research revealed that 66% of managers find “bullshitting” by staff very annoying, but only 37% have similar objections to swearing.

“It appears the culture of TV personalities such as Sir Alan Sugar and Gordon Ramsay is permeating the business world,” says the report.

Another bloody interesting discovery is that taking a mobile phone call at a business lunch is now considered more acceptable than smoking after the meal. And 79% of managers reckon smoking just outside the workplace is unacceptable.

The anti-smoking lobby has certainly had an influence on the great British boss by the sounds of things.

Professor Khalid Aziz comments: “Popular opinion has now shifted from viewing smoking as acceptable – and even sophisticated – to seeing it as scruffy and a way of skiving off work.

“No company wants its brand associated with the image of Harry Enfield’s Waynetta Slob – that’s just not professional.”

No bullshit.

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