I reckon you’ll never truly let go. Entrepreneurial marketing directors never do

As I strolled through the marketing department earlier this week, my team was busy gossiping in a group huddle. They were acting very strangely and rushed to hide whatever it was they were all looking at.

I later discovered that the secret item was, in fact, a copy of the Media Guardian and they had been reviewing the recruitment pages. They didn’t need to worry about my reaction as I have always made a flick through the classifieds part of my own weekly routine. Smart marketers will always be in demand so there is little point in pretending that good opportunities will not come their way.

The role that had grabbed their attention was that of marketing director for Syco – aka Simon Cowell’s enterprises. Let me make it clear that I think Cowell is a world class marketer, despite not training at the school of brand management that is FMCG. Rarely has a marketer created a brand and managed the entire value chain so impressively. Hats off to Syco.

However, you are not getting your hands on my best talent without a fight, Cowell. I have been doing my utmost to dampen any remaining enthusiasm for your vacancy by suggesting to my team that you would surely be a nightmare boss. Have they not seen you on The X Factor? How would they deal with that creative ego?

“I reckon you’ll never truly let go. Entrepreneurial marketing directors never do.”

Mind you, my team has experience of such creative challenges through their dealings with our agencies. But they work for us, not the other way round.

Your ego is only the half of it, Cowell. Are you sure that you really want a marketing director? I thought that was your job. I advise my team not to be fooled by your job title. Why would they want to be a glorified PA?

OK, I accept that you are quite busy with your global roll-out of The X Factor format, but I reckon you’ll never truly let go. Entrepreneurial marketing directors never do, particularly those who own their own company and name the brand after themselves.

Anyway, now there is absolutely no chance of my team applying for your role, do give me a call. I love your business model and would be delighted to be your new marketing assistant. I know that we would make a great team, but you can be the judge of that.

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