Worst royal wedding tat in the world ever!

The gloom that still hangs over UK PLC will lift tomorrow (28 April) as consumers nationwide celebrate the wedding of Wills ’n Kate by doing what us Brits do best, getting rip-roaring drunk and eating sausages in inclement weather conditions.

But it won’t just be food and booze that Brits will be consuming. From the moment that the date was set, businesses went into over drive to tap into the biggest commercial opportunity since the last one. Some, however, have stretched their unique proposition to the point of hilarity.

With this in mind, Marketing Week has taken a break from putting up the bunting to present to you, dear readers, the inaugural Questionable Royal Wedding Merchandise awards, the first in what will be very definitely a series of one.

Enjoy, or perhaps despair.

The award for least appropriate household item goes to….

Spaceslide.co.uk’s “Royal Wedding Commemorative Sliding Doors”. As if the thought of being met by the young lovers on entry and exit to whichever room chosen was not enough, said doors are “now available in red”!!!! That’s the dream.

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The award for, “hey, why can’t dogs celebrate too” merchandise goes to…

Urban Pup’s “high fashion” themed dog outfits. Because monarchist dogs care too!

The award for outright weirdness goes to…

Online adult retailer, Lovehoney.co.uk has launched, brace yourself, the, ahem “Commemorative Royal Wedding Ring”. No more details are provided, mercifully, but prospective buyers are assured that the item will help them “celebrate the union”.

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The award for ever so slightly creepy promotional proposition goes to…

Premier Inn’s Kate ’n Wills duvet covers. Sleep on or with the happy couple on their wedding night, at a budget hotel! Nothing at all weird about any of that.

Despite the slew of questionable tie-ins, a few genuinely funny and even innovative items have slipped through the net of ridiculousness.

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The winner, and the recipient of the best royal wedding merchandise in the world ever! goes to…

John Smith’s commemorative paper plate, which carries the legend “Ta for the day off”. Irreverent and entirely in keeping with the brand’s no nonsense proposition.