The Secret Marketer bids us farewell

Three years ago, the associate editor of Marketing Week cast me in the role of The Secret Marketer. One hundred and fifty rants, or should that be columns, later and it is time for me to take my leave. Work pressures dictate I step aside.

It has been a blast and I shall miss my weekly soap box. I do hope that many of you have enjoyed it too. Thankfully, nobody in my team has ever worked out that it is me who is the author. Just as well given some of them have been the subject of much fun and derision.

Still, at least I will no longer have to hide in my office when they are talking about my column. They are usually occupied by the recruitment classified pages, but there has been the odd occasion when I’ve heard one of them ask what kind of ****** writes The Secret Marketer column? If only they knew.

“The Secret Marketer… ranks highly in my very short list of new product development successes”

To those of you have been regular readers, I thank you for being loyal, discerning customers. To those who are best described as dabblers or occasional light users, I thank you for trialing my brand and am only sorry that I didn’t command a greater share of voice.

Finally, to those outright brand rejectors, what can I say? Where did I go wrong? I suspect that you have been too busy reading all of those highbrow thought leader pieces from my rival columnists. No hard feelings. I won’t miss you and you won’t miss me. In the unlikely event you are reading this, we are officially quits.

Others who will no doubt be glad to see the back of me include useful sales people, those in politically correct HR circles and those flakey group level corporate global marketing do-gooders. You know the sort. I wish you all well and thank you enormously for providing me with more quality material than I could ever have wished for.

The exciting news is that The Secret Marketer column is here to stay. It is just me who is leaving. What started as a pilot test is now a permanent feature. It therefore ranks highly in my very short list of new product development successes.

I can’t comment on my successor. Just like me, he or she is top secret. No formal handover or induction programme with this job so all that remains is for me to send my anonymous best wishes.

Look after my soap box for me and I am available for the occasional holiday cover column if ever required. Over and out.

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