Baize-moi – there’s a tipple on the table

The Diary has been ejected from many a hostelry for spilling crème de menthe on the billiard table – glasses just don’t seem to be as stable as they once were. So the news that a humble weaver called Milliken is boasting of his ability to despoil the evenly napped harmony of pool tables across the land has, frankly, mystified the Diary.

Apparently, Milliken is using high-quality digital printing in his campaign to besmirch Britain’s baize, a tactic which confirms the Diary’s lifelong suspicion that members of the artisan class are not to be trusted with the fruits of the Industrial Revolution. Where is Ned Ludd when he’s needed?