Beans rule meanz aggro

People of a certain age will forever associate Guy Fawkes Night with the psychological traumas caused by an early 1980s safety ad. The Gothic execution featured an overeager child who had returned to her sparkler after it had gone out. As she wept, the camera lingered on her hideously scarred hand – an image that defined the dark potential of November 5.

It was to ad agency Isobel’s credit, then, that they went to such lengths to dispel such fears and anxieties and ensure its bonfire party was all about the good times last week. Music played, children frolicked and the fireworks dazzled as guests kept the cold at bay with mulled wine and hot chocolate infused with Baileys.

But there were fireworks of a different kind at the food tent, where a menu of baked potatoes, burgers and hot dogs was marred by the caterers’ strict adherence to a one-topping-per-spud limit.

The Diary witnessed guests from all parts of the ad industry, unused to hearing "no", making a stand against the draconian ruling on the grounds that when it comes to spuds, "cheese and beans" does not constitute two distinct toppings; rather it is a single dish – a bit like a G&T.

The furore was further inflamed when one guest was refused a spoonful of coleslaw because it was a potato topping and she had only a burger on her plate.

What would Guido himself have made of it all?


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