…but your privates on parade

The Diary is often asked how he manages his glamorous lifestyle: the six-hour lunches; the Bolly; the exotic cruises. The answer is simple. He supplements his Marketing Week income with a little blackmail cash.

Take this as a purely hypothetical scenario. Say The Diary had been on a cruise – aboard the Canberra, for example. And say a certain female had been a bit the worse for wear on the first night. (For the sake of argument, let’s assume she worked for a large cosmetics firm.) Imagine this same female had a bet with her group that she could swap clothes with a male colleague, kept her side of the bargain and ended up naked in front of an admiring, if bemused audience. What happened next is classified information.

It is at this point that The Diary sits back and waits for the bag of used fifties to arrive.

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